Sounds of Silence

I know that there is nothing I can possibly say that will adequately describe the horror that took place in Newton, Connecticut yesterday.  Please be in prayer for the families of the innocent victims as well as the survivors.

Charlotte Bacon, Age 6
Daniel Barden, Age 7
Rachel Davino, Age 29
Olivia Engel, Age 6
Josephine Gay, Age 7
Ana M Marquez-Greene, Age 6
Dylan Hockley, Age 6
Dawn Hocksprung, Age 47
Madeleine F Hsu, Age 6
Catherine V Hubbard, Age 6
Chase Kowalski, Age 7
Jesse Lewis, Age 6
James Mattioli, Age 6
Grace McDonnell, Age 7
Anne Marie Murphy, Age 52
Emilie Parker, Age 6
Jack Pinto, Age 6
Noah Pozner, Age 6
Caroline Previdi, Age 6
Jessica Rekos, Age 6
Avielle Richman, Age 6
Lauren Russeau, Age 30
Mary Sherlach, Age 56
Victoria Soto, Age 27
Benjamin Wheeler, Age 6
Allison N Wyatt, Age 6

Take on Me

I praise you Lord for your mighty strength, for your prowess in battle on my behalf.  Just the thought of Your glorious presence is enough to cause my heart to tremble.

My enemies are arrayed against me; I am powerless to defend myself.  I am forced to watch, helpless as the enemy of all that is good sets out his heinous siege works against my home and my family.  Certainly we will be consumed if You do not come quickly to our aid.  As swift as lightning crosses the sky, You are upon Your enemy.  Your sword flashes again and again as Your enemies are stricken down.  The carnage is too terrible for me to behold; I do my best to shield my son and my wife from the scene.  Suddenly, as quickly as it began, combat is ended.  Your mighty strength in battle is instantaneously matched by your tender mercy, as you take me and my family into Your arms.  I celebrate your victory with joy.

It is only then that I see Your son.  I cry out in horror as as Your enemies gather around Him.  The demons approach, cautiously, fearfully; Your son is silent before them.  Then, they attack.  They strike Him again and again.  The way is cleared for a large, reptilian creature, armed with a cruel whip, strewn with jagged bits of metal.  I cry out again, begging You to rescue Your son.  You just hold us tighter.  Your son is mocked, beaten and whipped horribly.  Increasing the cruelty still further, the torture is stopped before the point of death.  Now they are leading Him; they are forcing Him to walk, carrying the instrument of his impending execution.  The demons celebrate with glee as Your son is lashed and then nailed to a cross.  As He dies, I see a tear in Your eye.

“Why didn't You save Him?”  I scream, unable to comprehend what I've just seen; “how could You let Him die?”

You respond with a single word, “Behold.”

In the midst of their celebration, the demons pause; what was that sound?  Shuddering, they turn to look at Jesus.  He was dead, of that there was no doubt.  Equally certain and beyond belief, He is now alive.  With a voice like thunder, He shouts.  As He brandishes a sword, the demons shriek and flee for their lives.  For a time, they are allowed to escape.

“Someday,” You say, “my Son will finish this fight”.

I praise you Lord for your mighty strength, for your prowess in battle on my behalf.

Kyrie Eleison

“This, then, is how you should pray:

‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’”
Matthew 6:9-13

If you call yourself by the name ‘Christian’, this passage should be burned into your brain.  As our primary method of communication with God, the importance of prayer can hardly be overstated.  In these few brief sentences, Jesus Himself lays out for us the pattern that His prayer did, and our prayer should, follow.

This prayer is not a formula; it is not a recipe.  This prayer is not a key that will unlock the power of God and cause Him to perform miracles.  These sort of ideas abound in our society.  The thought that we can control God, forcing Him to act on our terms is quite appealing to our ego.  In our modern world, we are unaccustomed to waiting for anything.  We want fast food; we expect on-demand entertainment from our TV's.  Many of us carry so-called ‘smart’ phones, ensuring that we continually have ready access to whatever information we consider essential wherever we may be.

In spite of, or perhaps because of our always connected nature, I would posit that, in general, our personal relationships have never been more shallow.  Social media allows us to easily maintain a collection of dozens or hundreds of friends, while at the same time making it difficult to develop the in-depth communication and history of shared experience that we need to have true fellowship.

In spite of what you may have read or heard, God doesn't have a Facebook profile; God does not want you to ‘Like’ His status.   What God desires is to have a deep relationship with you.  He wants you to seek Him, and to find Him.  He wants you to be free from sin to live a life according to His plan; leading you finally to His presence.  (See Psalms 105:3-4, Isaiah 55:6-7, John 4:23-24, John 17:20-26, etc...)

As I stated earlier, prayer is our primary method of communication with God, at least ideally.  With this in mind, we would do well to take an in-depth look at the pattern of prayer that Jesus himself laid out for us.  Let's go line by line.

Our Father in heaven

The first thing that Jesus does is to recognize his relationship with God.  While He was literally God's son, we too are God's children according to 1 John 3:2.  Sadly, we were not all blessed with perfect fathers.  Some of us have had fathers who were absent or distant.  Some of us had fathers who expected far too much of us.  An unfortunately large number of us have had fathers who were actively abusive.  A much smaller group of us grew up with fathers who followed God's example and raised their children with love and grace coupled with appropriate discipline, to the best of their ability.  I am quite blessed to count myself in this final group.

As our heavenly father, God cares for us, His children by providing for our immediate needs for love, forgiveness and acceptance, while disciplining us to mold us into the most ideal version of ourselves.  Because He is our father “in heaven”, He is unconstrained by the barriers of time, distance and lack of knowledge.  We can trust that He will always act in the way that is best for us.

Hallowed be your name

Hallowed is simply another word for holy.  In this statement, we recognize that God is righteous and just; He is, in a word, holy.  We do not need to state this fact for His benefit, but rather for ours.  When we understand this fact, we become less concerned with the affairs of this world and more concerned with how we can please Him.  This leads directly to the next point.

Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Heaven is God's dwelling place.  It is the place where everything takes place just as God chooses.  For the moment, God allows events on the Earth to be chiefly influenced by other powers.  Certainly, everything that occurs will, in time, fit into His greater plan for good; in this section of the prayer, we are, in so many words expressing a desire for God's plan for good to come to fruition.

Give us today our daily bread

There are seven main points to this prayer; only now at number four does Jesus suggest that we actually ask God for anything.  All too often when we pray, we bring to God and enormous list of requests.  We have our own agenda; we think we know what God needs to do, and come to Him expecting that He will act as we want Him to.  This is certainly not a new phenomenon; if you read chapter 16 of Genesis, you can see Abraham and Sarah trying to direct God in just this way.  Rather than bringing an enormous list of requests and needs that God already knows about, we should simply ask Him to meet our immediate needs, while recognizing that all we have comes from God in the first place.

Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

This is a potentially dangerous area of this prayer.  If we act in a non-forgiving, judgmental manner toward others, should we really expect God to treat us better?  Some may read this warning and think that we can control God with our attitudes; I do not believe that this is the case.  In order for forgiveness to occur, two things are required.  The offended party must be willing to offer forgiveness, and the guilty party must be willing to accept forgiveness.  By acting in a forgiving manner toward others, we train ourselves to accept the forgiveness that God offers us.

Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

Before I began my discussion on this final section, I feel I must make something clear.  When you are tempted to sin, it is not God who is tempting you.

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.
James 1:13-14

God certainly does not tempt us, but, as we make our way through our fallen world, satan is certain to bring temptation our way.  For reasons that I doubt any human can truly understand, God allows this temptation to occur, within limits.  He has however, promised us that He will always provide a way out so that we can withstand temptation and not give in to it. (See 1 Corinthians 10:13)

Just as with praying for the advent of God's kingdom on earth, we can be confident that God will, when all is said and done, “deliver us from the evil one” in a triumphant, glorious manner that we cannot currently comprehend.  If we truly think of God as our heavenly father though, we will realize that God loves for us to come to Him and ask for the good things that He already has waiting for us.  Anyone who has been a parent for very long has felt the unique joy of hearing your child ask you for something that you have for them.

Now we have examined the model that Jesus gave us for prayer, we would do well to emulate it.  If you are in prayer, I would love to pray for you or with you.  Feel free to mention it in the comments section.

Breakfast in America

I've been avoiding writing about this topic for long time.  The purpose of this blog is not to be political or offensive but rather to inspire people to seek to follow God's word, the Bible, in their daily lives.  With that being said, there is a particular issue about which I feel very strongly; this issue is abortion.  In 2008, the most recent year for which statistics are available, the CDC reported that over 800,000 “legal induced abortions” were conducted in the United States.

One of the two major political parties in our country, the Democratic Party has chosen to make abortion a key part of their party platform, stating that they “strongly and unequivocally” support the right of a woman to seek an abortion.  Furthermore, they state that they “oppose any and all efforts to weaken or undermine that ‘right’”.

Oddly enough, the Republican party platform mentions abortion nearly 5 times more often than its Democratic counterpart does.  Unfortunately, they too fall short of officially opposing abortion although they do “oppose using public revenues to promote or perform abortion” and state that they “will not fund or subsidize health care which includes abortion coverage”.

At the risk of offending someone, allow me to make a statement; Jesus was not a Democrat.  It is equally important to mention that Jesus was not a Republican either.

Imagine that politics are a baseball field.  For the sake of convenience, also imagine that the Democrats occupy left field and the Republicans are in right field.  Now imagine Jesus; He's not even on the field.  In fact, He's not even in the ballpark.  He's probably downtown, preaching to the lost people who need Him the most.

I shouldn't be telling anyone how to vote, and I don't want to.  It is the privilege and duty of American citizens to carefully and conscientiously consider all the issues and to vote as they feel they should.  However, when you make your decision, you will best serve your country if you have as much information as possible available to you.

I Just Wanna Use Your Love

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery.  They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?”  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
John 8:3-11

When I read this passage of Scripture, there are two questions that immediately come to mind.

1.  Where is the guy?  If the Pharisees said, this woman was caught “in the act of adultery”, then what happened to the guy she was with?  After all, according to the law (Leviticus 20:10) they should both be put to death.  Did he take off?  Was he in on it?  No one knows.

2.  What is Jesus writing on the ground?  Some believe it was the Ten Commandments, others believe it was the names of the men accusing her.  The truth is no one knows.

Fortunately, neither of these two questions has anything to do with my point today.  Recently, I had a discussion with someone who was in favor of same-sex marriage.  They stated that they knew of gay people who were pleasant, community-minded people who should not be characterized as “sinners”.  Let me make two things immediately clear.  Homosexual behavior is sinful.  The Bible is quite clear on that point; Levitical Law calls homosexuality detestable and proscribes the death penalty for those guilty of the practice (see Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13).  However, homosexuality is not somehow worse than heterosexuality in Gods eyes.  According to James 2:10, anyone who breaks just one point of Gods law is guilty of breaking all of it.  This puts every person on earth on the same level; hopelessly lost.

I have never been tempted by sexual thoughts of other men, but I have dealt with lustful thoughts of women.  There was a time when these thoughts caused me so much anguish that is was difficult to function.  I understand how strong sexual temptation is.  If and when I acted on those temptations, I was acting in defiance of Gods will.  It is only by the grace of God that my struggles in this area are greatly diminished from where they were.

My point is this.  We are all sinners.  We must resist the temptation to put people into boxes and think that we represent God in condemning them.  When Jesus was on earth, the people he condemned were the self-righteous teachers of religion.  In his dealings with most sinful people, He condemned their sinful behavior but loved and accepted the person.  God freely offers us forgiveness, just as He offered it to this woman, but He asks us to sin no more.  If we are tempted sexually (or in any other manner) God asks us to resist that temptation.  If we fail, He stands ready with forgiveness, not judgment, so long as we will accept it.

Love for Sale (and Books)

I just finished the first printing of my short book on the attributes of God, “Who is this God?”.  I am asking $5 dollars each for them.  This price includes local delivery or postage as needed.  If you would like a copy signed or dedicated to you or someone else, please let me know.

If you're interested, please leave a comment or send me an e-mail.  Thanks for reading.

What A Fool Believes

It recently occurred to me that some of the people who read this blog likely do not have a relationship with God.  It is equally likely that some readers call themselves Christians but have not ever really considered exactly what they believe or why.  I thought it might be helpful for me to share the thought process that led me to my faith.

When I was a child, the world and the universe were things that simply existed.  They needed no explanation, no consideration of their origins and meaning.  As I grew older I spent alot of time reading the set of encyclopedias at my grandparents' house and watching educational TV, typically the science and nature shows aimed at adults.  I learned how the big bang theory with it's definite beginning and subsequent universal expansion fits the available evidence quite nicely.  In biology, the idea of evolution was attractive to me at first, but the existence of certain inter-dependent organic systems (the symbiotic relationship between the Bullhorn Acacia and a particular species of ants is a good example) eventually made it seem unlikely to me that these organisms could come to be through an unguided, unintelligent process.

Once I came to the conclusion that the universe was created by something, I considered the type of being that would be capable of creation. This entity/force/whatever you want to call it would need some quite specific characteristics.  It would need to be intelligent, powerful and self-existent, otherwise it would simply displace the question of the ultimate origin of the universe.

Then, I learned of anthropology.  I found that most cultures throughout history have had some sort of religion.  Religion is often defined as man attempting to get in touch with a higher power; it seemed to me that anything that fit the criteria of "creator of the universe" would be something that man couldn't get to through mans own efforts; this being would have to contact us. This eventually led me to Christianity, which in its purest sense is concerned with God reaching to man.

Though I came to the decision to follow Christ, I still struggle with many facets of its practice.  We are devoted to a God who asks men to strive for a high (unfortunately unrealistic) moral standard but offers assistance and forgiveness when we inevitably fail.  This seems contradictory and inefficient, but I believe the purpose of this is to make men certain of the need to be saved.  As for hell, I freely admit I don't understand it or know what the nature of it is, but I am confident that the creator of the universe would not have gone through all the trouble to create intelligent beings only to condemn the vast majority of them to everlasting torment.  I am certain that God is completely just and will not condemn anyone to hell unless they deserve it.  No one will go to hell because of ignorance.  Everyone who has lived or ever will live will have the opportunity to accept or reject God.  Those who accept Him will be saved; those who do not will be condemned.  I don't claim to understand it, but I believe that this God I've been discussing has no reason to be capricious or cruel and many reasons to be just and merciful.

Now to the key problem with most religions, Christianity included.  Where is the proof?  I was recently discussing religion with an agnostic friend of mine, until we found ourselves at an impasse.  Without absolute proof, my friend was unwilling to accept that Christianity or any other religion had definite answers.  I am certain that as long as I am alive, I will continue to ask difficult questions and there will always be things that I do not understand.  The difference between my friend and I is that I was able to take a leap of faith and accept that God will care for me.  Not that there is anything special about me, the Bible is clear that faith is a gift from God.  I am extremely grateful for this gift and I intend to use whatever time God is gracious enough to give me on this Earth to serve His kingdom and spread His message.

Seeking Answers Facebook

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Who Is This God?

My last entry, “God is Wise” completed my 10 part series on the Attributes of God.  I pray that this series has helped some of you to gain a clearer understanding of who God is and what He is like.

I am compiling all 10 entries in a small book called “Who Is This God”.  These books will be available within two weeks for $5 each.  If you would like to order one, please contact me as soon as possible.  I'll be accepting payment through Paypal or by cash or check.  Thanks for reading
and God bless.

Attributes of God - God is Wise

There's just one attribute of God left for my series of blog entries; God is Wise.  At first, I wasn't certain exactly how to address it though.  Of course God is wise.  He's omniscient; He knows everything!  But then I started to think about the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

I was going to quote a Bible verse here, “Knowledge puffs up but wisdom builds up”. Unfortunately, this verse doesn't seem to actually exist.  I suppose I'll go a different direction...

Ever see the movie Rainman?  It follows an autistic man and his estranged brother on a cross-country road trip, but that's not important right now.  What is important, to my belabored point at least, is this.  The autistic character in this movie has incredible knowledge gained by obsessive observation of the world around him, but can't even cross the street safely without guidance.

In other words, knowledge is useful to a point, but wisdom is what guides the application of knowledge to its maximum effect.  God's omniscient knowledge was directed by His infinite wisdom with the effect being you and I and the universe we live in.  In His wisdom, God decided to create living, intelligent creatures that share many of His own attributes to a small extent.  Then, knowing that our free will allows us to make poor choices, His wisdom also directed the design of a plan for salvation for these beings He created.

Now, it is up to us.  We have knowledge about who God is and what He is all about; do we have the wisdom to ally ourselves with Him?

Attributes of God - God is Self Existent

There is one characteristic that every single thing in the entire universe shares.  Whether creature or thing, inanimate object or intelligent organism, every speck of matter in this universe was created by something.  Something caused everything in the universe to come into existence.  God, however was not.  No one and nothing caused God to come into being; He simply is.  Past, present, future, God is.

How can this be?  How can anything not have an origin?  Even the universe itself must have had an origin.  God exists outside of space and time, outside of the universe in a timeless manner that our limited human minds can barely conceive of, much less even begin to comprehend.


Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8

God is unchanging.  He exists yesterday today and forever concurrently.  This explains how the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross took the penalty for all the sin in the world, from the day of creation until the day that the old heaven and the old earth pass away.  This God who created the entire universe invites us to share in His manner of existence after a comparatively infinitesimal time spent in this life, for the cost of nothing more than our acknowledgment of His position of authority over the entire universe and our acceptance of forgiveness of our sins.

Dancing with Myself

If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century.
Martin Luther King Jr.

I've struggled with this issue for a long time.  How did we move from the powerful first-century church with its miraculous signs, incredible growth, and willingness for self-sacrifice to the modern church of the western world that has lost most of its impact on both society at large and its own members?  Far too many early Christians were tortured and killed and yet refused to renounce their faith; far too few American Christians are actively witnessing to their unsaved friends and neighbors.  Why not?  Because it's uncomfortable.  We don't want to be seen as judgmental, bigoted, or 'too religious'.

Does the church have a significant effect on society anymore; or has society had a much more significant effect on the church?  Try listening to a group of worshippers after a typical church service.  Certainly, some of the conversations are about the Lord or the recently concluded service, but many (or maybe even most of them) will sound like a typical secular conversation.   “Where are we going for lunch?”  “How is work?”  “Did you see American Idol?”   I myself am particularly guilty of this secularization of the mind.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

I often find myself wishing I knew God's will, but Paul said I need to renew my mind before I can “test and approve what God’s will is”.  Now, how do I do this?  I am very much concerned with the things of this world.  I am depressed by job-hunting; I worry about money.  I read the Bible nearly every day.  I've read through the entire Bible once this year and I plan to finish it again by the end of this year.  And yet, my mind doesn't seem much different.  I still struggle with many of the same issues I have struggled with for many years.

What is the solution then?  Prayer, lots of it.  Reading God's word is essential, but it is through prayer that we communicate directly with God.  Also, we shouldn't attempt to follow God in a vacuum.  We aren't alone on this earth, we have been given fellow Christians to both assist and be assisted by as we make our way through this life.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25

This is what we have been called to do; this is how we renew our minds and find God's will.

Everyday Extraordinary - Jesus had Gas

This is from an idea I had for a book that would be called Everyday Extraordinary.  It is not intended to be disrespectful or to make light of the time Jesus spent on earth but rather to help the reader identify more with Jesus.  If pointing out the humanity of Jesus will help one person make a decision to follow the Everlasting Everyday Savior, then I have done my job.

I have been on several camping trips with no one but men. Some men camp in tents, some in motorhomes.  Some men eat pork and beans, others prepare gourmet meals.  The one common demoninator among these situations is a bond that unites men of every race, creed or color.  No matter what the socio-economic status of the men involved; when they are away from civilization, men stink.  Men burp too often... and they have gas.  No matter what era in history, men sitting around a campfire are certain to pass gas.

They will break wind.

They will cut the cheese.

In the immortal phraseology of King James; the men shall breaketh forth a mighty wind, and great shall be the stink with which it stinketh.

Jesus and the discliples were men.  They spent a great deal of their time walking from town to town in a hot, dry, dusty environment.  They were not often close to a shower.  Look now at their diet.  They probably ate alot of lentils.  Maybe some lamb stew with lentils.  Lentils with goat's milk.  Lentils with a roasted bird on a stick.  A diet like that is certain to make one gassy.

Now picture Jesus with the disciples sitting around a fire.  It probably started with James or John.  Why do you think they were known as the Sons of Thunder?  Then, Peter would join in.  Maybe Luke and Matthew were reluctant at first.  And soon enough, Jesus, our Lord and Savior, Son of God in human form, Creator of the Universe; Jesus would let one go.  By now, I picture all of the men laughing together, fellowshipping with that bond that all men share.  Perhaps someone would try to blame their gas on someone else; too bad for them that Jesus is all knowing.

Attributes of God - God is Righteous

We see many of the attributes of God reflected in humanity.  Righteousness however is an attribute that humanity does not seem to possess.  We are riddled with guilt from nearly the time of our birth.  We are selfish and violent.  If you doubt this, you need only visit a nursery school to be reassured of this fact.  There, you will witness children fighting over toys, over attention, and all too often fighting for reasons that do not seem to exist.  Stronger children often take toys from weaker children in a macabre survival-of-the-fittest display that is unfortunately reminiscent of the war-torn world that we live in.

Selfishness is the hallmark of the human condition.  Selfishness could be characterized as the polar opposite of righteousness.  Where selfish humanity is concerned with itself, righteous God is concerned with humanity, trapping Himself temporarily in the bonds of mortal flesh in order to free us from those same bonds.  In saving us, God commits the ultimate act of mercy by allowing us to choose to follow Him out of the failings of flesh and into the eternity that He has prepared or to continue on our own path that leads inevitably to an eternity solely in the company of oneself.  Apart from God, there can be found no joy, no companionship, no fellowship, just the horror of realizing an eternal separation from the source of all that is good.

It is worth remembering that it is not so much God sentencing people to eternal separation as allowing people to exist apart from Him.  A righteous God does not force us to love Him but gives us the choice to determine our own destinies.

Attributes of God - God is Omniscient

This is one of the easiest attributes to wrap a limited, human brain around.  Very simply, God knows everything; past, present, future, God knows.  God's knowledge of the future is the only troublesome point.  Many people equate knowledge of future events with the causation of future events.  In other words, the idea is that if God knows what will happen then He is responsible for what happens.  This thought is a shortcoming of beings that have a temporal existence.  We simply cannot conceive of an existence apart from time; God can.  Time is a dimension of the universe; God exists completely apart from the universe.  Before and after (from our perspective) the beginning and end of our Universe, God simply is.

Attributes of God - God is Omnipresent

This is a difficult concept to understand, to say the least; God exists in every corner of the universe at the same time.  In some way, you could say that God is as big as the universe.  Notice I did not say that God is the universe; as the creator of the universe, God exists independently from the universe.  As David said in Psalm 139,

“Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.”

We know now that the universe is far more vast than David knew.  The bottom of the sea, the farthest shore, the entire expanse of the Earth are the merest slivers of creation.  This knowledge should put us in far more awe of God than David was.  How incredible is it that God should take notice of us at all; let alone desire a relationship with us.  How incredible for us to take advantage of this privilege.

Don't You (Forget About Me)

And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off?
Luke 18:7

What is justice?  This parable does not go into detail regarding what receiving justice meant for the widow who was pestering the “Unjust Judge”, only that he would make certain that she received it.  To answer my previous question, to receive justice is to receive that which is rightfully yours.  Given this definition, as a child of God what is rightfully yours?  Do You have the right to ask God to act as a genie, ready to do your bidding?  Do you have the right to be delivered from the hands of your enemies?  Do you have the right to live a long and fulfilling life on this earth?  No, you don't have the right to any of these things.  You do however have a right to receive one thing, death.

Suddenly, this verse does not sound so great.  In fact, I would just as soon not avail myself of this right any time soon.  As I have alluded to before, God's justice is not one of His attributes that is pleasant to dwell on.  Incredibly, God gives us a choice.  We can choose to be judged on our own merits, taking the consequences of our actions on ourselves or, option 2, we can choose to be judged on the merits of Jesus Christ, God's own beloved son.  Even more difficult to believe is the fact that though He was innocent, Jesus has already borne the consequences of our sin and lawlessness by dying a cruel death.

Clearly, demanding and receiving “Justice” is not the central point of this verse.  The most important point seems to be the fact that we are “His chosen ones” and that we should be calling on God at all times.  Though it is not necessarily just from His point of view, God wants us to bring our requests to Him.  God wants to hear so much more than just requests though.  If we correctly recognize our relationship to God, we should bring to Him not just our requests, but also our praise, thanksgiving and worship.

I may be wrong, but I believe that many of those who call themselves Christians, like me, possess prayer lives that are heavily biased towards requests.  This is not an unexpected state of affairs, as our problems often seem immediate while we are tempted to think of God as something that is remote.  This could not be further from the truth; the moment you truly seek Him, God is there.  God promises us that we will find Him when we see Him with all our hearts.  I pray that everyone who reads these words, myself included will seek God in this way.

For What It's Worth

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.
1 Corinthians 2:4-5

How does the modern church operate?  By spending an hour each week having someone give a carefully constructed message.  I've never been a pastor, so I don't have personal knowledge of how sermons are generally prepared, but why do we "modern" christians not see apostle-style demonstrations of the Spirit’s power?  Where are the miraculous healings?  Where is the divinely-given ability to speak in other languages (not supposed "heavenly" tongues, but Acts 2 style)?  Where are the people being raised from the dead?  Why are the "miracles" we see today so limited?  I believe that I am alive today because of God miraculously touching me in 2006, likely in response to the fervent prayers of many concerned believers, but when did a Biblical miracle go only halfway like that?  Are we depending too much on human wisdom?  What does my faith lie on?  What about yours?

Attributes of God - God is Loving

For each of us, the word love is a noun or a verb.  As a noun, love is a feeling of affection toward an object or being.  As a verb, to love means to express this feeling of affection.  In the case of God, love means much more.  The Bible says that God is Love.  This is of course not true in the literal sense, but the attitude, emotion and act of love is so much a part of the character of God that is impossible to express the nature of God without mentioning love.

Unfortunately, the world's skewed understanding of love has indelibly stained our perception.  We use a lot of in a flippant, casual way.

“I love that dress.”

“I love french fries.”

To apply the word love to something temporary and transient is to dramatically minimize its power.  Though none of the other lyrics are terribly meaningful, a famous song from the 1960s sums up the concept of love quite nicely.

“Love, love, love; love is all you need.”

If God is indeed love, this couldn't be more true.

Attributes of God - God is Just

To be just is to be fair.  Because He is just, God will never act any way that is unfair.  Everything that God does, has done or will do is completely correct and appropriate by any truly objective standard.  Where there has been undeserved suffering, there will certainly, in due time be a be a reward.  Where there has been undeserved blessing, there will certainly in due time be appropriate consequences.  By His very nature, God cannot act in a way that is not just toward us, humans, the most intelligent, most capable (of both good and bad) beings in creation.

This is potentially terrible news.  If God is completely just, then we are in trouble.  We have all acted in ways that are inappropriate and we all deserve punishment.  So long as we are imperfect, we cannot exist in the presence of a perfect God.  Thankfully, God has another attribute, His mercy.  Because He is just, there must be consequences attached to our actions that because He is merciful, He chose to take the consequences on Himself in the person of Jesus.

God is both just and merciful.  May we always strive to be the same in our dealings with those in our sphere of influence.

Jump!

When I started my journal for this year, I quoted the Scripture “If you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman.” - From Jeremiah 15:19.  After a very long time praying and seeking the Lord, I truly feel that He has called me to communicate His message to those around me, specifically through the written word.  I am not claiming to have any sort of special revelation, or exclusive access to God, far from it.  It is my prayer that through the gifts He has given me, someone may be encouraged, uplifted, blessed or come to a saving knowledge of the Lord.  Please pray for me as I attempt to follow this path; pray that I will not become discouraged and that I will be faithful to God, my family and to you, my potential readers.  Thank you for your kind attention and support;

Sincerely,

Kenny Brown

Non-Weekend Fiction - The Book-Filled Room

I wrote this story based on a scene I remember from a movie.  The strange thing is, that the thing and movie I apparently remember do not seem to actually exist.  I felt ready for a break, but expect more of Oracle this weekend.

The room was small and dark, though not uncomfortably so.  Aside from a desk, chair and reading lamp, there were no other furnishings.  There were however books, hundreds of them all neatly arranged on built-in bookshelves that lined every wall interrupted solely by the door and a window with thick red curtains.

It would be difficult to determine who was startled more; Nicholas, at finding someone in his study or Macy by his unexpected appearance.

“I'm sorry, you startled me;” said Nicholas, his confusion apparent, “forgive my asking, but what are you doing here?”

“I'm not sure, this room, these books...  They all seem so familiar.”

“They should, you spent a lot of time in this room.”

This time, Macy was confused, “What do you mean, I've never been here before.”

Nicholas chuckled softly and spoke kindly.  “Aside from myself, I should imagine that no one has spent more time in this room than you.”

“What is it that you do in here, anyway?”

Nicholas held up a book, identical to the books on the shelves, “I write down the names and descriptions of animals in these tiny books.”

“What animals?”, asked Macy, still incredulous.

“All of them, I'm nearly finished.”

Macy couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity.  “How long have you been working?”

“Not long, only about 3,000 years.”

This time, it was Macy who laughed.  “Only 3,000 years, that seems like quite a long time for a man who looks 30.”

“You should talk, this used to be your job.”

As she wondered at this seemingly absurd notion, she was again startled by a peculiar, loud buzzing.  She inadvertently pressed the snooze button but then paused.  “What a strange dream.”  She thought to herself.

Attributes of God - God is Holy

The holiness of God is quite likely one of the most difficult attributes for us as humans to come to grips with.  To say that someone or something is holy is to say that he, she or it is supremely good, exalted or worthy of complete devotion.  Anyone that is holy is, by definition perfect in goodness and righteousness.  This definition does not fit any person, object or idea that we as humans can interact with in any non-spiritual manner.

Lying beyond the difficulty of simply comprehending what holiness means is the fact that we are incapable of giving our complete devotion to anything.  If we could, we would be unable to maintain our existence.  In this life, we will never truly understand the holiness of God, but in the next we will experience it personally.

Hungry Like the Wolf

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.
Psalm 42:1

My soul has been thirsting for the things of this world. I've been thirsting for things that cannot satisfy my thirst. I can think of dozens of excuses for being depressed, but I still have free will. I am still free to choose what I will pursue. When I entertain thoughts that are inappropriate for me, it is my own fault. I am with out excuse.

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
Romans 1:20

I am very familiar with creation. I have studied astronomy. I have studied biology. I have studied physics. In all my studies, I have seen God's incredible wisdom and creativity in the design of creation. God's fingerprints are everywhere; from the interactions of molecules to the incredible complexities of mechanics that govern the paths of stars, God's divine design is evident. Being confident of all this, how can I allow my soul to desire anything else?

Attributes of God - God is Faithful

Human beings are not faithful. Sooner or later anyone who depends on other humans will be disappointed. Promises will be broken, feelings will be hurt and hearts left in ruins.  God on the other hand is faithful, completely faithful. God will never… can never break a promise.

God is the healer of hurt feelings. God rebuilds broken hearts. The most faithful things that humans have direct experience with are the laws of physics. Every person alive is familiar with gravity. If you let go of object you're holding you can be certain that it will soon be drawn towards the ground. Leave an ice cube in the hot sun long enough and it will certainly melt. Put your unprotected hand in a flame and it will hurt.

God is more faithful than all of these. God's faithfulness is higher than these physical laws that we cherish. God's faithfulness is far beyond our comprehension. While the universe will eventually pass away, taking our familiar laws with it, God’s word, laws and character will always endure, God is eternally faithful.

The Attributes of God - God is Eternal

We humans get caught up in the idea of eternity. It's confusing. We experience time one day after another. When we try to think of eternity, we imagine an endless string of days compounding into millions and billions of years. I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of spending 8 billion years doing anything sounds horrible.

God does not experience time in this manner; the eternality of God means that He is beyond time. Eternity is not something that we as temporal beings can easily come to grips with. We're simply unable to comprehend the nonexistence of time. We are finite beings and as such are incapable of ompletely understanding what is infinite. The fact that we have any comprehension at all of God is evidence of His reaching out to us.

In the book of Isaiah, Gad says that His ways are not our ways; His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.  We can never be completely like God, but we were all created with an eternal component, our soul that will advance to eternity after our time on Earth is complete.  Possessing a proper understanding of and posture toward God will ensure that this eternity is spent with Him rather than apart from Him.

Weekend Fiction - Oracle’s Conversation

Here is chapter 6 of my science-fiction serial Oracle.  I actually finished this chapter ahead of schedule.  Please feel free to offer any comments, suggestions or feedback.  Thanks!

Chapter 6; Oracle’s Conversation

“It’s Cyrus, right?” after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Melanie decided to break the ice.

“Yes, Cyrus… I'm Cyrus,” unsure what to say next, he continued; “it's nice to see you again.”

The strained conversation was interrupted by the return of the waitress.

“Are y’all about finished with your pie?”

“Yes, and it was great, just like my aunt said.”  Melanie responded.

“Oh, was that your aunt?” asked the waitress, “she's nice; a little bossy though.”

Melanie giggled.  “I guess you could say that.”

“Ya know; I'm awfully sorry about that, sometimes I just call ‘em like I see ‘em and put my foot in my mouth.”

“Don't worry about it; she was being bossy tonight.”  Melanie reassured her.

“I'll just leave the two of you to finish your coffee.” said the waitress, walking away.

Now that the waitress had broken the ice, Cyrus felt more comfortable.  “So, how long have you lived with your aunt?”

“About 2 years now; I moved here for work right after college.”

“She seems nice, sometimes a bit confused though.”

Melanie frowned slightly.  “She had a minor stroke about a year-and-a-half ago; she’s doing really well considering.”

Cyrus was seemingly lost in his thoughts for a moment, and then spoke.  “She’ll be doing better after she starts her new medication.”

“What new medication?”

“The medication her doctor prescribed at her appointment in 6 mon- …” Cyrus’ words trailed to a halt; “I, uh, I shouldn’t say anything else; I’ve said too much already.”

“No, it’s alright; go on, please.” prompted Melanie.

“I really don’t like talking about these types of things…  I just can’t do it; don’t ask me to, please.”

Melanie was beginning to get angry, “Why not?” she demanded.

“Because she’s going to die!”  Heads turned as Cyrus blurted, more loudly than he had intended.

“How could you know that; how could anyone?”

“I’ve seen it! “ Cyrus pointed to his head, “Up here!”

Melanie responded with one word, spoken firmly, “When?”

“I, I don’t know…”  Cyrus paused, “not for another 10 or 15 years.”

“How do you know you’re not wrong?”  Melanie asked.

“I never have been.” Cryus spoke clinically, without emotion.

“How do you do it?”  Melanie still sounded incredulous.

“I don’t know,” Cyrus continued, “but I hate it.”

“How can you say that?  You have a gift, it’s wonderful.”

“No, you don’t understand…” Cyrus searched for the right words, “Everyone is going to die; and I can see it, when, how…”

“What about me?”  Melanie pressed.

“I don’t know…” Cyrus paused, “It different with you; I can’t tell you your future.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?”

“I can’t; I don’t know why.”  Cyrus didn’t know what else to say.  “I just can’t see anything when I look at you; I can’t see anything but… you.”

Melanie was determined to solve the mystery; “Has this ever happened before; with anyone else?”

“No, it’s never happened with anyone else… well; no one else but me.” Cyrus confessed.

Melanie started to respond, but there didn’t seem to be anything else to say.  Cyrus spoke next.  “We should go, it’s about to get pretty crowded in here.”

He got up from the table and Melanie followed his lead.  As they reached the register, Melanie reached for her wallet.  “Let me, please;” Cyrus asked, “I don’t get to spend money very often.”  As he signed his name on the credit card slip, nobody noticed Cyrus adding a $1000 tip.

“Goodnight ya’ll” the waitress said, as yet unaware of her good fortune.

As they walked out, a crowd of around 20 people, freshly emerged from the theatre next door entered the restaurant.  “Can I give you a ride back to your… car?”  Melanie faltered as Cyrus’ car pulled up.  Her confusion grew as he went to the driver’s side door.

“No thanks; it looks like I’ve got a ride already.”

“I guess I’ll see you later then; goodnight.”

“Take care, Melanie.”

Cyrus closed the door.  “Ezra, let’s go home.”

“Very good sir.”

Hold the Line

How often do I feel sad, wishing that I had clear direction from God; that I knew my purpose.  What I really need is God to give me victory over sin.  I don't have a problem with enormous, obvious sins; more the pernicous, less noticeable type.  I am lazy.  I waste so much time playing around on the computer.  I of all people should be aware of my own mortality; in fact, I've been cognizant of my mortality since I was a child.  When I was a child, I expected that I would be dead before the age of 25 at the oldest.  Unfortunately, this expectation did not give me a sense of urgency; quite the opposite, my certainty regarding my future made me reluctant to try too hard.  Why should I bother trying to do well in school or look for a job or do anything that wasn't enjoyable when I would be dead soon?  What a mistake that was!  I became so depressed that I didn't even want to live anymore.  When there is nothing to strive for, nothing to achieve, no goals to look ahead to, what is the point of living at all?  Like Job, I prayed that I could simply die, and move straight to eternity.  Praise God for not granting the unknowingly stupid prayers of His children!

Once I realized that God wasn't going to strike me down and I found myself not quite depressed enough to actually go through with suicide, I knew my life would have to change.  I developed a sense of urgency; I simply didn't have time to waste!  This urgency drove me to return to school and to excel this time.  More than one person commented on my strong work ethic and the unheard of change in my academic performance.  I went from an academically disqualified 1.0 GPA to an honors earning 3.6 before my graduation.  In addition to classroom work, I participated in academic competition, excelling there as well.  In addition, I sought out student employment.  Within a few months, I had impressed my supervisor so much that I was entrusted with remote access to my work computer, making me the only student worker with this access.  In nearly every way, I was a model student.

I do not say any of this intending to build myself up; I freely acknowledge that God was the source of any wisdom I may have exhibited.  Furthermore, it is only through the God's power of healing that I survived a serious illness in 2006.  My point is this; when I felt a clear direction from God, I flourished.

But then; like a fool, I graduated.  I found myself a highly qualified individual with a college degree, a loving wife and a young son.  I had everything I could have asked for; everything but a job.  Now, two years later, I am still unemployed, with my job prospects looking more and more dim as I get further from graduation.

I find myself slipping back to my old habits of being angry, unmotivated and depressed.  I don't know what God wants from me!  I find myself longing that God will give me clear direction and purpose.  Praise God, I no longer have any suicidal bent whatsoever but I have difficulty imagining being very happy or fulfilled in this life.  I suppose rather than encouraging others with this post, I am asking for you to partner with me as I pray for diection.  With God's inspiration I'm intending to ramp up my writing output, so expect more entries soon.

Right Here Waiting

In my previous post, “Take It to the Limit”, I may be guilty of suggesting that finding God is dependent on our effort.  Please do not misunderstand me, our effort is indeed quite important.

As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
James 2:26

If Christianity were based purely on our effort, it would be much the same as most other religions in the world.  The primary difference between Christianity and most other religions is the concept of God reaching out to man rather than the other way around.  Though our effort is a necessary and important component of a walk with God, His effort is infinitely more so.  As creator of the universe, God by definition must exist outside of the universe.  Is there any way that we as residents of the universe could interact with anything outside of the universe through our own initiative?  Of course not, that would be absurd.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

By necessity, God made the first move.  Since we were unable to bridge the gap between ourselves and Him, He did so for us.  Beyond simply making the first move, God goes further.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send?  And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Isaiah 6:8

God asks us to be a partner in reaching others with His message.  In much the same way that Jesus was, we are tasked with going into the world to help those who are lost.  One question remains, why?  Why would the God of the universe desire to have a relationship with us?

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.
John 4:23

Consider this for a moment; have you ever done something cool and wish that there had been someone around to see it?  God did too; God made the entire heartbreakingly beautiful, often savage, precise-as-clockwork and incomprehensibly large universe.  How cool is that?  Is it any surprise that He would long to have someone to share it with?  That's where we come in.  God is seeking worshipers.  He is not on some sort of universal ego trip; our worship is simply the result of an accurate acknowledgment of our position in relation to His.  When and if we gain this understanding of our status, worship is a perfectly legitimate and reasonable response.

Weekend Fiction - Oracle the Hero

Here is chapter 5 of my science-fiction serial Oracle.  This was the most difficult chapter so far to write.  Please feel free to offer any comments, suggestions or feedback.  Thanks!


Chapter 5; Oracle the Hero

“Good morning sir.”

“Good morning Ezra, go ahead.”

“Very good sir; your client will arrive in 1 hour; shall I start your shower and coffee?”

“Go ahead, Ezra.”

“Very good sir; your client?”

“Go ahead, Ezra.”

“Senator Jacobson, unspecified business.”

As usual with politicians, the senator's staff was tightlipped about the purpose of his visit, but public officials were typically interested in just one thing, reelection.  Mrs. Meyers had asked for a few days off, ostensibly to get away for a weekend; she was actually at an appointment with an oncologist.  Unfortunately she would pass away 13 months from now but Ezra's arranging for her to become a lottery winner six months from now will ensure that her last days are spent comfortably, in a beach house in Mexico.

After his shower, Cyrus found the note Mrs. Meyers had left directing him to the homemade frozen waffles in the freezer.  Though his meeting with Senator Jacobson was predictably short, Cyrus had more charity clients than usual.  He thought of Melanie very little that day.  After the last charity client had left, Cyrus found himself strangely tired from a long day.  As Cyrus lay down to rest in his noisy room, a strange sensation came over him.  He foresaw a man dressed in dark clothes peering through a window.  Hearing a noise in the bushes behind him, the man turned.  The burglar crouched out of sight and hid.

“This is strange.”  Cyrus thought to himself.  Usually, his visions only involved people he knew or happened to be near at the time.  Then he realized that the burglar was outside of Mrs. Thomason house.

“Ezra, open the garage door.”

“Very good sir.”

Though he was unsure what he would do when he arrived, Cyrus knew he had to get to Mrs. Thomason’s house.

On the way, Cyrus focused, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was happening but without success.  He parked down the street, not wanting to draw attention to himself.  As he stumbled through the bushes in Mrs. Thomason’s yard, Cyrus silently cursed himself for not thinking to bring a flashlight.  With a start, he fell through a gap in the hedge and found himself face-to-face with the man from his vision.

“What do you think you're doing here?”  The thief demanded.

Cyrus started to answer but then he foresaw his opponent leveling a pistol.  Without thinking, he launched himself at the would-be assailant.  Cyrus briefly had the advantage as they tumbled to the ground but the thief was not giving up easily.  Cyrus foresaw a stick being swung a split second before he was struck by the stick itself.  As the thief escaped his grasp, Cyrus foresaw then felt several punches and kicks.  Moments later, Cyrus was on the ground, looking up at the thief who was holding the pistol from his vision.

“See you around, hero.” growled the thief, leveling the pistol at Cyrus.  Before he could fire, there was another loud commotion in the bushes.

“What's going on out there?”  A burly man bellowed as he lumbered across the yard.  The thief dropped his weapon and ran, leaving Cyrus where he lay.

“Hey, I recognize you!  You're that guy that was snooping around here the other day.”  The large man spoke; “I live right next door and I saw you.”

“It's not like that” Cyrus gasped, trying to catch his breath; “I'm trying to help.”

“I suppose that's why you brought a gun, right?”  The man said, stabbing a finger at the pistol on the ground.

“It's not my gun.”  Cyrus tried to reassure the neighbor.

The burly man placed his bulk in between Cyrus and the gun.  “We'll just let the police figure that out, my wife already called them; they're on the way.”

Cyrus spent the next five minutes in awkward silence as the Good Samaritan neighbor paced back and forth, menacingly brandishing a two by four.  Cyrus felt quite relieved when a police cruiser arrived with lights flashing.  A few moments later, he was taken to the police station as a second detective took a statement from the neighbor.

At the police station, Cyrus was ushered into a small, green holding room.  A bored looking officer wearing a faded grey suit questioned him regarding the events of that evening.

“Well, part of your story checks out; your prints aren't on the gun, so we know someone else was there.”

“That's what I tried to tell you,” Cyrus protested, “the other guy was already there; I was trying to help Melanie, er, Mrs. Thomason.”

“Right there, that's the problem;” the officer stopped Cyrus, “how did you know anyone needed help?  You live on the other side of town!”

“That's going to be a little hard to explain.”  Cyrus said.

“Try me; I've got a real active imagination.”  the detective jeered.

Cyrus’ explanation was cut short by the entry of another officer.

“We're ready for the line up, get him out here.”

Cyrus was ushered into a line with five other men and instructed to face a one-way mirror.  A moment later, the procedure was interrupted by a police sergeant.

“This guy is your suspect;” the sergeant protested, “do you have any idea how many cases this guy has helped us solve?”

“What are you talking about Garcia?  The neighbor caught him snooping in this woman's bushes; of course he’s our suspect!” The grey suited officer defended himself.

“I've worked with this guy dozens of times!”  The sergeant continued, “If he says he was there to help, he was there to help.  Send him home right now.”

“Whatever you say, sir.”  The officer said in a derisive tone.

Cyrus exited the police station walking slowly, lost in his thoughts. He looked up when he heard Mrs. Thomason's voice.

“Yoo-hoo; young man!” She called, “That nice sergeant told us all about you trying to help us.”

He turned to see Mrs. Thomason and Melanie near a car.

“Umm, it was nothing.”  Cyrus said, somewhat nervous at seeing Melanie.

“Nonsense,” said Mrs. Thomason “you have to let us buy you a cup of coffee, that's the least we can do; I won't take no for an answer.”

Mrs. Thomason took Cyrus by the arm, and proceeded to lead him to a nearby coffee shop.

“I'll just have a cup of coffee.”  Cyrus suggested.

“Don't be silly,” Mrs. Thomason said, “you simply must try the apple pie.”

Mrs. Thomason proceeded to order three pieces of apple pie from the waitress.  A few minutes later,  the waitress returned with the pie and coffee.  As they started to eat, Sergeant Garcia entered the shop.  Seeing Cyrus, he approached the table.

“I'm really sorry about tonight,” he apologized; “Detective Henderson thought he was doing his job.”

“It's no problem,” Cyrus reassured the Sergeant; “it could have happened to anyone.”

Mrs. Thomason spoke up next.  “Excuse me, officer.  All the excitement of this evening has got me a little tired out; would you mind terribly driving me home?”  Before Sergeant Garcia could answer, she called out to the waitress.  “Miss, may I have this pie and coffee to go please?"

With no apparent alternative, Sergeant Garcia responded; “I'd be happy to ma'am, my car is right outside.”

Mrs. Thomason departed with her new-found chauffeur, leaving Cyrus and Melanie alone.

Take It to the Limit

As I was studying my list of Scriptures that I am trying to memorize, four verses jumped out at me tonight.  The common theme?  Seeking and working to find Gods purpose for me.  As I was praying and writing, these verses seemed to arrange themselves into a plan.

Step one, work!

In everything that he undertook in the service of God’s temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered.
2 Chronicles 31:21

Hezekiah was one of the last great kings of Judah before Jerusalem was nearly destroyed by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.  When it came to serving God, Hezekiah gave all he had.  Because of his willingness to work for God, Hezekiah is remembered for his accomplishments for God.  Unfortunately, even he got tripped up by pride later in his life, so he was not perfect.

Step two, pray!

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:5

I do not know what God's plan for my life is and I'll bet that many of you are just as uncertain as me.  I freely admit that I lack wisdom; if I didn't, Max Lucado might be reading my books instead of the other way around.  If you don't know what God's plan for your life is, pray!

Step three, be wholehearted!

I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands.
Psalm 119:10

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

God does not want you to wander through this world aimlessly, without direction.  On the other hand, the nature of the world we live in ensures that finding God will not be accomplished without effort.  One thing is certain; if you truly desire to find God, you will need to apply all of your abilities, your heart, your intellect, your imagination.  Though it will be difficult, and your search will consume your entire life in this world, the benefits far outweigh the cost.

I personally have been guilty of halfheartedly following God.  I have been willing to follow God as long as He leads me where I want to go.  I have been guilty of turning away when it has been difficult or uncomfortable to hold fast to my Savior.  While I will always bear the spiritual scars of my disobedience, I know that my Savior, my God also bears scars, far greater, far deeper, far more tragic than I will ever comprehend.  I praise the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness, and I pray that you will seek Him wholeheartedly and claim His love for your own.

Weekend Fiction - Oracle’s Confusion

This is chapter 4 of Oracle, my science fiction serial.  Today, we learn a little bit more about Ezra.  Got comments?  I'd love to hear them!


Chapter 4; Oracle’s Confusion


Though his visit to Mrs. Thomason's house had proved unfruitful, Cyrus was no less determined to solve the mystery surrounding Melanie.  Though his power seemed to be useless in this situation, he had access to other resources.

“Ezra, bring your conversation and counseling modules online.”

“Very good, sir.”

Cyrus had obtained  Ezra from an abandoned government project.  Ezra was an artificial intelligence computer system designed to interact with humans using natural language.  Its original purpose was to perform basic psychoanalysis on soldiers and suffering from PTSD.  It was a miserable failure through no fault of its own.  Most people are simply uncomfortable conversing with a computer.  Ezra's hardware consisted of a dozen racks, each holding 10 server class computers.  For most purposes, only a few of the computers were running at any given time.  In response to Cyrus' command, all 120 units lit up.

“Ezra, I think I'm in love.”

“What makes you say that?” Ezra responded.

“I don't know what else to think, this woman confuses me.”

“Go on.”

“I'm not even sure what love is.”  Cyrus said.

“Love is defined as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.  Do you have any personal ties with this woman?”

Cyrus sighed.  “We have something in common if that's what you mean.  She and I have the only futures I can't see.”

Advanced as it was, certain aspects of Cyrus' life continually escaped Ezra.  “The only way to know the future is to experience it.”

“I wish that was true.” Cyrus responded.

Ezra either paused meaningfully or struggled to process Cyrus’ statement.  “If you do not have personal ties with her, you must develop them if love is the intended goal.”

“So you're saying we should spend time together?”

“That seems like a wise course of action.”  Ezra sounded satisfied with itself, if that was possible.

“Thank you, as always, for your help; return to standard operations mode.”

In its climate controlled server room, Ezra's activity level returned to normal.  Cyrus was more determined than ever that he would see Melanie again.

Weekend Fiction - Oracle’s Dilemma

This is chapter 3 of my science fiction serial, Oracle.  Now, we're getting deeper into the mystery surrounding Melanie.  As always I greatly appreciate any feedback.  Thanks!

Chapter 3; Oracle’s Dilemma


At 3 am, Cyrus finally gave up on sleep.  It seemed that the unanswered questions in his mind simply would not wait for the morning.

“Ezra?”

“Good morning sir; it’s 3 AM; your schedule?”

“No, Ezra; search biographical information of Melanie Thomason; 3 mile radius.”

“Two results; Melanie R. Thomason, age 52 and Melanie Thomason, age 8.”

Neither of those women could possibly be Mrs. Thomason’s niece.  “Dismissed, Ezra.”

Cyrus was determined to unravel the mystery surrounding Melanie.  He considered calling in a favor from one of the several private investigators he had assisted, but felt wrong about having anyone spy on her.  Finally, he decided.  Cyrus had never needed to ask anyone for information about someone; he had no intention of breaking that pattern.

“Ezra; turn off the lights.”

“Very good sir.”

Cyrus sat down at his desk and turned off the radio, for the first time in years.  He had once learned some meditation techniques hoping to quiet the noise in his mind.  He pictured Melanie's face in his mind.  He began to focus on breathing, deeply and slowly.  He thought back to Melanie helping Mrs. Thomason rescue the cat.

“Concentrate, concentrate...  ”

Cyrus whispered to himself.  It was no use.  The matter how hard he tried, Cyrus could not quiet the noise in his mind.  His mind constantly jumped from scene to scene of seemingly anyone except Melanie.  After about 10 minutes of focused effort, Cyrus was exhausted.  He shoved his chair back angrily and got up from his desk.

“Ezra; turn on the lights, now!”  Cyrus said, angrily.

“Very good sir.”

As Cyrus stepped away from his desk, he tripped and fell over a pile of discarded clothes.  He struck his head on a bedside table and fell to the floor, unconscious.

Cyrus awoke in silence.  When he opened his eyes he found himself in an unfamiliar place.  He was standing in a featureless expanse of grey, facing an enormous white wall that stretched as far as he could see to his left and right.  The top of the wall was obscured by grey mist.  Set in the wall were two heavy wooden doors.

“Hello, can anyone hear me?  Hello, HELLO! ”

Cyrus' cries went unanswered.  He walked to the door on the left and opened it to see a featureless grey expanse seemingly identical to the place he now stood.  Somewhat apprehensive now, Cyrus strode to the other door from behind this door he could hear a multitude of voices, all speaking at once.  Somehow, he was certain that Melanie was behind this door.  He reached for the door, grasping the heavy iron hoop.  The door would not open.  He struggled with all his strength with the door but the door would not budge.  He pounded the door as hard as he could but to no avail.

“Melanie!  I'm coming; I'll get you out of there. ”

Cyrus raced back to the other door but it slammed shut just as he reached it.  Going back to the door on the right, Cyrus reached to open it.  This time it opened easily to discharge a crowd of people, hundreds of them fitting every description.

“Melanie!  Where are you? ”

Cyrus is interrupted by the steady stream of chatter coming from the people in the crowd.  They surrounded him, all shouting questions at once.

“How long do I have?” said an old man with a walker.

“When am I going to die?” came from a woman in a business suit.

A sickly looking child asked, “Will it hurt when I die?”

A woman in a hospital gown screamed, “How can you stand there and watch me die?”

“Do something, save me!” cried a woman who looked like she had been beaten.

“I can't help you; it's not my fault!” Cyrus responded.

The people just continued shouting, crowding around Cyrus.  As he struggled to escape from a soldier with a battered rifle, he fell, the crowd closing in around him.  Cyrus' world went dark as he passed out.

“Good morning sir.”

Cyrus woke up screaming, drenched in sweat.

“Good morning sir.”

“Ezra… Ezra, it was just a dream.” Cyrus said, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

“Good morning sir.”

“Go ahead, Ezra; I’m awake now.”

“Very good sir; your client will arrive in 2 hours; shall I start your shower and coffee?”

“Go ahead, Ezra, extra hot shower today please.”

“Very good sir; your client?”

“Go ahead, Ezra.”

“General McDermott, to discuss Project Threshold.”

The idea of meeting with General McDermott wasn’t a pleasant thought.  Cyrus knew that he would spend nearly 4 hours listening to the General.  He suspected that the General was more interested in having a captive audience than in Project Threshold.  Cyrus had assured him last time that the project would be approved by Congress, but it seemed that the military never ran out of questions… or stories.

As Cyrus ate his breakfast of French toast and sausage, he found his thoughts again drifting back to Mrs. Thomason’s niece.  What it was that made her different from every other person he had ever known?  Finishing his breakfast, he resolved that he would figure this mystery out.

By the time General McDermott finished talking, it was already past lunch time.  Cyrus briefly considered skipping the usual round of charity clients, but something inside him wouldn’t let him.  He actually did enjoy some of them; they were the closest thing he had to friends.  He seemed to have a large amount of clients who had questions about their love life.  He predicted the future for other people all afternoon, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Melanie; thinking of how we wasn’t able to see anything about her.  When he was done with his last charity client of the day, he found himself driving to Mrs. Thomason’s house.

Mrs. Thomason lived on a tree-lined cul-de-sac, just off a busy street.  Cyrus stood on the porch of Mrs. Thomason’s house.  He was intending to ring the doorbell, but was having difficulty getting over his nervousness.  He simply couldn’t be certain of whether Melanie was home or not.  Looking into Mrs. Thomason’s immediate future didn’t help either.  He was able to see her answering the doorbell in about 19 seconds, but other than that; Mrs. Thomason would simply tell him that Melanie lived in her guest house, and that she didn’t know if her niece was home or not.  It occurred briefly to him that he could simply bypass speaking to Mrs. Thomason and go straight to the guest house, but he wasn’t certain of quite the affect that would have on the situation; he wasn’t even certain if he could do something other than he had seen in Mrs. Thomason’s future.  As he mentally debated the possibilities, he absentmindedly stretched out his hand and hit the doorbell button.

“Just a moment please.”  Mrs. Thomason’s voice was barely audible over the noise of the street.  Seeing Cyrus at the door, she seemed confused.  “Are you here about Mr. Fluff?  We found him right where you said he would be.”

“I… No, actually I was wondering… is Melanie here?”

“Oh, Melanie doesn’t actually live here,” Mrs. Thomason replied; “she lives in my guest house and I’m not sure if she’s home or not.”

Cyrus followed the rest of the script of his conversation with Mrs. Thomason mindlessly, shortly finding himself alone again on her doorstep.

For some reason, Cyrus couldn’t bring himself to go and knock on the door of the guesthouse.  Without being certain of the outcome, he was unsure how to proceed.  He finally left when he foresaw a neighbor dialing the police about the strange man loitering at Mrs. Thomason’s door.

Weekend Fiction - Oracle Meets a Stranger

This is chapter 2 of my science fiction serial, Oracle.  This time, we actually start to have a plot.  As always I greatly appreciate any feedback.  Thanks!

Chapter 2; Oracle Meets a Stranger


“Good morning sir.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Good morning sir.”

“Shut up!”

“Good morning sir.”

“Go ahead, Ezra.”

“Very good sir; your first client will arrive in 2 hours; shall I start your shower and coffee?”

“Go ahead, Ezra.””

“Very good sir; your client?”

“Go ahead, Ezra.””

“Representatives from ExNect corp regarding the upcoming merger with AT-Tec.”

“Dismissed, Ezra.”

Cyrus dismissed Ezra, his computerized assistant.  His shower was ready, with static blaring from the integrated speakers and flashing colors on the screens.  After showering and dressing, Cyrus put on a set of comfortable clothes and went to the kitchen for his coffee and breakfast.  Looking forward, he saw Mrs. Meyers, his housekeeper cleaning up the remains of his waffles and eggs.  He didn’t like waffles, but Mrs. Meyers was such a great housekeeper that he didn’t have the heart to tell her.  He wasn’t looking forward to hiring her replacement seven months from now.  At least he knew Mrs. Meyers wouldn’t suffer when she died in her sleep early on that Sunday morning.

Cyrus reassured the executives from ExNect that the merger with AT-Tec would be wildly successful.  The SEC wouldn’t even have a problem with the merger.  He saw the stock price rising to unprecedented highs, but; since no one asked; he didn’t mention that anyone who held on to the stock for longer than 8 months and 3 days would end up losing far more than they had gained.

After eating a corned beef sandwich (another of Mrs. Meyers’ favorite selections) for lunch, Cyrus prepared for the rest of his day, answering questions for the charity clients who were always lined up outside of the guest house, waiting for him.  He anticipated having a long day with them today.

There were no surprises among the clients at his door.

“Will we have a boy or a girl?”

“Should we buy the house down the street or move across the country?”

Even though he never answered questions about lottery numbers and death anymore, nearly half of his clients wanted to ask.  After the third person in a row asked about the SuperBall jackpot numbers, Cyrus was ready to call it a day.  The elderly woman who was waiting for him looked very frail though, and he knew that her question was easy to answer.

“What can I help you with today?” Cyrus asked; humoring Mrs. Thomason by asking.

“I know this may sound like a silly question,” she faltered; “but I seem to have lost my cat.  I’ve been looking for him everywhere for 2 days.”

Cyrus looked forward and saw Mrs. Thomason with an attractive woman, opening a battered trunk to release a very angry cat.

“Do you have an old trunk at your house?” he asked.

“Why yes, I do… how on earth could Mr. Fluff had gotten in there though?”

Cyrus was about to answer, but then the cat rescuer from the future walked through the door.  He found himself suddenly speechless; how had he not seen Mrs. Thomason’s niece?  Cyrus struggled to find something to say, his mind racing as he tried to figure out how he could have been surprised by the sudden appearance of this woman.

Sensing his confusion, the woman decided to take action.  “I’m Melanie,” she said, extending her hand.

“I’m Cyrus” he responded, shaking her hand.  He was unsure of what to do next; he had never met a stranger before.

Wish You Were Here

I was feeling pretty depressed yesterday; April 26 would have been the 43rd birthday of a cousin that I was close to.  He passed away unexpectedly and suddenly seven years ago.  I have the same condition that he had.

Perhaps more than most people, I am understandably aware of my own mortality.  I trust that God has a plan for my life.  I pray that this plan will have me on this Earth for long enough to watch my son grow up, but I do not know if this will happen.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am frustratingly preoccupied with time.  If there is any task to be accomplished, I want to do it immediately.  If I have an appointment to go to, I want to arrive 15 minutes early.  Yet, I often find myself frustrated at myself for wasting time.  Being unemployed and unsure of what I can do to earn money and support my family, I feel like I have too much time on my hands.  After Kristofer goes to bed at night, I get on my computer.  Once I get done with my daily Bible reading, taking care of finances and doing the work in two free classes I take online I am left with not much to do.

I know that there are other things I should do, lots of things to write; I find myself drawn to playing silly puzzle games online.  This is when I start feeling guilty; if I am doing something that does not benefit God or my family or anyone else, I feel guilty.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2

I know from this passage that I do not have to feel guilty.  The only one that is condemning me for wasting time is me.  On the other hand...

For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
2 Thessalonians 3:10

Fortunately, I believe that my issue is not so much that I am unwilling to work but rather that I am unsure of what to do at any given time.  I have a tendency to get myself so loaded with ideas and project stubs that it is difficult for me to take the time to sit down and develop any one of them.  My temptation is to get frustrated, give up and go back to whatever meaningless activity I can find to fill my time and take my mind off of what I should be doing.  What a mess I am!  I am concerned with time, but I waste time.  Even though I know I should be doing one thing, I find myself doing the opposite.  Apparently, however I am not unique.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
Romans 7:19-20

I wonder if the apostle Paul felt like me?  I wonder if he struggled with feeling guilty over not accomplishing his goals?  I actually like Paul; he must have been quite a character.  First angry, then pleading, then sticking his nose in where it doesn't belong.  He jumps from one subject to another so often... I just wonder what it must have been like to actually be there for one of his multi-hour sermon/lecture/improv sessions.  Everywhere he went, riots broke out.  Everytime he spoke you never knew what was going to happen.  I think of his shipwreck adventure.  When he was bit by a snake, the villagers thought he was a murderer and being punished.  But when he didn't drop dead, they changed their minds and decided he must be a god.  That was the type of person he was, everyone had an opinion.

So, where am I going with all this?  To tell the truth, I've been wondering that myself over the last 15 or 20 minutes.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

I suppose that means that there is even a time for playing silly puzzle games, just not when there is work to be done.

P.S.: I'll see you in 40 or 50 years Mike; we still have to do that mid-air belly-bounce.